By Rob Atkinson
No, Leeds, no, no, no! I'm sorry to come across all Thatcheresque, but sometimes you just have to put your foot down with an almighty stomp and have a tantrum in a worthy cause.
This new shirt. It has stripes!! Horrible big fat stripes that look like tyre tracks, as if our poor players have been caught unawares by a runaway blue-paint liner. It's tawdry, it's unnecessary. It's a massive departure from fifty years of tradition during the vast bulk of which we've been resplendent in pure brilliant white shirts. I mean, I know we were never going to go back to the simplicity of the 1972 kit - obviously flashes and piping and logos and other such fripperies are a part of the scene these days, more's the pity. But this? It's an abomination!
In the interests of balance though, I should say that some people like it. There, that's that done.
We are now destined to enter a new season where Swansea and Spurs are going to look far more like Leeds United than Leeds United do - and frankly, it's wasted on them. They're hardly going to appreciate the fact, are they?
I'm sure we're stuck with this unfortunate monstrosity, worse luck. Well, they can stick it for me. I'm not having one. What I will do is sally forth to the Club Shop/Tat Emporium/Bates Retirement Fund Megastore, and purchase for myself one pristine, tasteful, fully authentic retro home shirt of a 1992 vintage, which I shall wear as a protest against the sheer bad taste of this awful, awful Macron creation. And I shall sneer openly at anyone I encounter wearing the ugly thing that's being foisted upon us..
Leeds United, for heaven's sake: what were you thinking of??